Financial Independence is Sexy
Today’s blog is about financial independence for a woman. Women over centuries have been stuck in this archetype that they are not as powerful as men. We grow up believing we are not the providers but simply the caretakers. We’re not expected or taught to be the main breadwinners.
We aren’t responsible for bringing food to the table? We have always been the care givers and nurturers, In this blog I will take about :-
- How did I get here
- Egoic resistance
- Financial independence
- Deal with it smartly
Of course, over the years things have evolved and women have started becoming more aggressive in the job sector and getting more powerful jobs, but generally it’s perceived that women are not the sole breadwinners. Even from the olden days, right back when evolution first started, it was the men who used to go out and hunt. They used to bring back meat and fish. They used to pluck berries and women used to stay home and take care of the house. Women used to use these “resources” for the family and cooked up meals.
But have you thought, have you really sat down and thought, how did the man know how much to bring back? Who told them how much we need ? It was actually the women. So women have always had leadership qualities and made major decisions in the family indirectly.
However deeply rooted in our DNA over the centuries, we are chosen to grown with the mental ideology that we are the weaker sex. I don’t like the word WEAKER.There are many stories of women who were absolutely devastated after a divorce, not only emotionally but financially because their husbands managed the money in the household. The newly divorced woman does not know anything about saving or investing. She does not know her financial assets and investments because her husbands always handled them. This is an unfortunate but often common occurrence for divorcees. And why are 8 out of 10 women often in this situation?
I challenge you to break free from that mindset. Every woman – even if she’s in 30, 40s 50s, 60s or 70s, needs to feel this power of financial independence. It’s super sexy. And its definitely possible.
Let me share my story with you. I’ve always grown up in a good rich household. My parents were well to do. They could afford to give me everything I wanted. I had a good education. I got everything. I got married to a man who was equally capable of taking care of me- holidays, credit cards, cars, a house. All of it seemed “right”, but it wasn’t. And the best or maybe the worst part was – I didn’t even know that.
I am An Ares core elemental type. Ares are freedom lovers. We are independent and we crave freedom in every aspect off our lives. Though I always had access to money it wasn’t MY OWN MONEY.So whenever I had to account my spending to my husband it troubled me. I started detesting having to feel limited by my resources.
Don’t get me wrong, I had money – more than the average woman in the world. The difference is it was his money. Whenever I spent money from our joint account, he used to crib, complain and question me. That used to upset and trouble me because I don’t like being accountable to anybody for how I spend my money. It was just how I’m framed.
We are all divine beings. We are all able to manifest anything we want. We all have equal opportunities. So as women, we should have equal access to our own money and how we use it. First step to financial independence – stop using someone else’s money – your spouse, your partner, your husband, your dad, your brother or your children. That is crucial.
I only figured this out when I got my financial independence, when I started making my own money and spending my own money, that’s when I felt truly empowered. Financial independence is a woman’s best accessory. When you have your own money, you have choices and options in everything – your relationship, your standards of living, self care, your investments, your home, your children and your LIFE.
How Did I Get Here?
Most women in general – because its in our DNA have this big block that we are limited just because we are women. My business coach told me recently (he’s a man) – “women shouldn’t be given the same opportunities as men because what have children. They eed maternity leave and need to focus on the home as well and thus it affects their productivity and the effort they put into their work. Yes he’s a man. Yes he needs to be fixed.
We all have this fixed mindset that women had children. How about men? Aren’t the children theirs too? Don’t they have to focus on the home as well?So really its actually changing fixed mindsets that women are second class when it comes to money making and having the same business opportunities. That’s the myth that we need to break.
Each and every one of us is a divine human being. What do I mean by a divine? Each and every one of us has been given the same resources and capacity to achieve as much as we want from the universe. Just because you are a women you aren’t disabled to do this.
So you will tell me, Kaysha it’s easier said than done. I am born unlucky. My life has just been a struggle. I don’t have any skill set. What do you want me to do? How can I pay for my own bills? I don’t even have a job? I haven’t worked in 20 years. I constantly get all these questions from my prospective students.
Now I want to put this statement to you. You are the creator of your destiny – so whatever your situation in life is now, your financial position, your job, your health, the way you look, the way your children are, the way your life is, it’s a reflection of the choices that you have taken. Every choice that you have made in the last decade, the last five years and the last one year has shaped your current reality. Let me repeat this again.
Who you are today, your health, your wealth, the way your children are, the house you live in, the way your body looks like – it’s a consequence of the actions you have taken in the last decade, in the last five years and in the last one year.
You created your reality.
We love to abdicate it. Some of my clients have challenged this – they say , Oh God, put me in this situation.My husband doesn’t allow me to do things. I’m stuck because of my children. I have a horrible boss. I have no skill set. I am not tech- savvy. We simply love to blame others and abdicate responsibility to someone or something else for our situation.
I used to be the same. I wasn’t fulfilled being a homemaker. I was not able to buy what I wanted because my husband controlled the purse strings. I felt he was controlling. I felt he was stingy. I felt I couldn’t go back to the work force after 20 years. I felt my children were holding me back from a wonderful career. In reality I put myself in that situation of being dependent on him financially because I decided to stop working when I married him 20 years back. I didn’t bother about my finances. I didn’t have my own account. I just was happy living that life of the housewife- having everything sorted for me . I just had to show up looking pretty.
In reality I was disempowering myself. I didn’t even know that. My life was a consequence of my actions. For the past 20 years.I made changes. I took action to change my reality and today I earn in five figures USD every month without fail.This is my reality today. I recently just took my children and went on a three week holiday to Europe, fully paid by me. Now that is what I call SEXY.
How has it worked for my relationship with my husband? Our relationship hasn’t been better because I pay for my own bills and I always knew he secretly bore a grudge with having to pay for my bills.There shouldn’t be attachment or dependence on your partner. Research shows that 8 out of 10 women stay in relationships because of stability.
So why do women stay in their relationships though they are unhappy. Of course the DNA plays a part.I’m a woman. I am not as capable. I am supposed to be submissive. I’m supposed to be second class. These broadcast messages your subconscious sends to you make you stay in relationships where you’re not treated well because you feel financially unable to manage on your own. The second reason why we stay in such relationships is because we have egoic resistance.
We all have survival instincts. We love having security stability and safety from centuries ago. When we see danger coming, we have a fight or flight response. And as a woman, when you’re with a man, you’re programmed to feel stable, safe and secure. He can give you stability. He can give you a good life. He can take care of you. It’s a very natural female instinct. We always choose partners whom we feel can give us a stable life.
So imagine if I tell you that this stable structure of your life is going to break up. What happens to you and your survival instincts? The fear sets in. You don’t want to be alone. You don’t want to be left on the shelf. You don’t want to be a single mother. You are afraid you can’t manage to pay your bills. You don’t want to have your stability taken away from you.
This is called egoic resistance. These are your survival instincts setting in when it seems “unsafe”. And so what do you do? You hang onto it, you cling onto it, you adapt to it, and you make yourself accept the situation and you pretend to be okay with the way things are. You settle. You compromise.
Now, some of you will come out and say, well, every relationship needs compromise. Every relationship needs me to change who I am to adapt to my partner. It is how relationships are. Usually in the process of doing that you lose yourself. You become someone you are not. You become inauthentic.
I know so many women who are in dysfunctional relationships and bad marriages, and the reason they stay in these marriages is because they have no other option. Why don’t they have any other option? Its because they don’t have the resources and what is the resource that they need?
Its money which gives them the stability. Their FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE.
It is so important to be financially independent. I’ve gone through that whole journey myself. I had parents and a husband who paid all my bills. I was actually disempowered, because I had the money to buy and do whatever I wanted but that money wasn’t mine. It is disempowering to have every bill of yours paid for. This is so so important for every women out there to know
The first thing that you can do for your financial independence is to start paying your own bills. It is your birthright to be abundant so why have you given that power to somebody else? Why have you give it that power of abundance to somebody else in your life? Why did you let another person pay for your bills?You have actually disempowered yourself. Let me repeat this again – when you let a man pay for your bills, you are disempowering yourself. You are accepting that you are not as good enough as him.
This the major mental shift that we need to go through.
I am enough. I am a divine human being.I can get whatever I want to. I do not feel less compared to my partner. It’s all a mesh of circumstances which are all joined together that’s why you feel disempowered. You have allowed yourself to be treated in this disempowering way. You call it adaption. You call it settling in. You call it adjusting or accepting.
But really do you need to be in this relationship?
The first thing every one of you need to start doing is to find your own source of income. Start paying all your bills yourself. I pay each and every bill of my own myself. Start paying all your bills yourself. That would give you empowerment and that’s going to give you more choices in your life. How do you do that? Get a job.
Excuses. I’m not good enough. I am not educated enough. I’m not qualified. I’ve lost touch with the workforce so many years ago because I have been a stay at home mom. This is egoic resistance. These are reasons we give ourselves that keep us from going forward and trying to even start searching.
Let me give you a simple analogy. The first week of January you usually see maybe 50 new people at the gym. I’m a gym junkie and I go to the gym every day, but in January I usually see more people at the gym. Why? That’s because everyone makes a new year resolution to go to the gym to lose some weight. 10 days later, half the crowd dwindles. At the end of the month it will be back to the regular old gym buffs who have been always there. Now, why does this happen? 10 days later, the people who were trying to get to the gym and trying to start a new lifestyle feel that this isn’t really working. They thus feel what’s the point? How much weight can I lose? They step on the scales and maybe they’ve lost like a kilo and they justify it to themselves – is this one kilo lost really worth it? Me sacrificing my two hours of sleep. I am trying so hard to stick to routine. I am trying so hard to be consistent. You are stepping out of your comfort zone if you’re not a gym go-er and 10 days later you see half the crowd disappearing and one month later really nobody is there as its easy to go back to routines.
The same analogy works for becoming financially independent. When you see a job opportunity to making money by starting your own business you come up with excuses. This is egoic resistance. This is the biggest block to your own financial independence. Let me tell you this one more time.
You are the biggest block to your financial independence.
Deal With It Smartly
So when you’re faced with egoic resistance on the 10th day of gym – when you want to go to the gym and your body tells you no, you ned to fight back and make it to Day 11, Day 12, Day 13 , Day 14 and Day 15. Your mind would then adapt to this new lifestyle change and instead help you with your journey. That’s why out of the 50 new people who join the gym, only one or two who really stay on because they’re able to fight that egoic resistance within themselves.
So in the same way, to become financially independent and start making your own money and become your own boss – you’re going to feel you can’t make the money. You need to try a new type of business model especially in these trying times. You need to try and learn something new and different. You need to push yourself. You need to hang in there and stick it out.
With DARCI, Doctor Aphrodite Relationship Coaching Institute – I bring forth to you this wonderful one stop coaching business where you learn to become an intuitive relationship coach from the comfort of your home and I assure you that if you follow our set protocols, you can become a relationship coach and earn at least 2000 USD a month. At least.
Good if you need a side hustle, awesome for retired women and mums who need a source of income and incredible for women needing a life purpose and needing to learn something useful and meaning at this point in their lives.
How can I with no skillset, with no knowledge of using the computer and no knowledge about relationships become a relationship coach?
Yes you can. We all have been in relationships before.Every woman on this planet has had at least one relationship in her life.The entire course is so comprehensive and transformational that it would help you transform your relationship, help lives of other women and at the same time it will give you financial independence which is super sexy.You don’t need any skillset. You learn it in 10 weeks. You coming up with all these excuses is really you disempowering yourself.